What should I do about my situation?

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/u/pilzgitarre49

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Let me elaborate. 1 and a half years ago I told a girl that I am interested in her by text. She didn’t respond because she didn’t know who sent her that text, (thats what she told me) her friends told her that it was me. We didn’t really ever talk about it again but stayed friends. I really like her but I still don’t know what to do since I really do not want to destroy our friendship.

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There's a lot of facets that go into relationships. First of all, you need compatible chemistry. If you are testosterone dominant and she's serotonin dominant, the chances of physical chemistry are woefully superficial. The pillow talk will be poor, stupid and immature. The physical chemistry will be nothing but sad and nearly pathetic desperation no matter the glamour involved.

Second of all, you need the correct measures of love. Many people aren't interested in love and don't have a concept of it. Mothers and fathers may develop love for their children, but about 80% of females and a lesser number of males cannot generate genuine love for their partner (or anything at all) and feign attraction. They have no love at all. For anything. They fake their way through their existence with a mix of fear, addiction and security from birth until death. It's possible for them to admit the truth, however, and then learn genuine love.

Most people are also given to glamour, charm and false perceptions of their culture. In the Western world this is defined almost exclusively by marketing and sub-conscious social conditioning of various commercial/industrial factions. This generates a selfish, self indulgent mindset that makes all relationships of unsound biology.

Without a healthy biologic, natural connection the only way the two of you can get involved - considering her reticence - is either both of you learning how to love; or, she will accept you as an (at best) second-best option and you will have a false relationship of varying difficulty as determined by other people - which is the likely scenario and has been for much of human history.

Really it depends on your lifestyles and beliefs. Personally, I'd give it a pass. I can't assume what the average person would do as they tend to struggle between the concepts of life and death to some degree.
 

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